Fool for Love: fools for paying

Five (out of six) stars for that pile of crap? Which play were you watching, Time Out? Some questions:

• Why was this deathly boring play thought worthy of revival?
• Why did Juliette Lewis deliver all of her lines in the same whiney manner?
• Was that sound of the door slamming supposed to make me feel something?
• Whe's ever seen an American motel room ceiling that looked like that?
• Why don't they revive Triangle so Larry Lamb can do something worthwhile. And bring backKate O'Mara while you're at it.

And I'm sorry, but £45 (OK, so we only paid £25, but we COULD have paid £45 if we weren't so tight) for 1 hour and 15 mins? What kind of deal is that? Although thankfully, it didn't end a minute to soon and we couldn't wait to get to the pub for a cheap bottle of red so that the evening wasn't completely wasted. Save your money. More preciously, save your time and give this a miss

Hay Fever: Winsome..lose some

Who did "winsome" best? Well, we thought we did. That's the problem with Hay Fever; the audience spends the first hour gagging to see how the starry lead does "in the style of the word winsome" and it goes downhill after that rather. Still, this production had a much lighter touch to it than the last one I saw which left rather a nasty taste in the mouth. Thanks for squeezing the three acts into two - we had enough bar time afterwards to down a bottle of red between us and another glass for the road. The costume designer should be shot though. We could probably just about suspend our disbelief to the point of dear Dame Judi seducing a youth (well, a gay one, anyway) but we were utterly distracted by DJ's upper arms which really did make her look 20 years' older than she could have been. More sleeves please, wardrobe.